“We’ll always be together.”
That’s what you used to say.
Both of you smiling at me, sending my brothers and I off to school.
How naïve I was,
How ignorant I was, of the real world around me.
I know now, words are lies, never to be trusted completely.
Know now, as I watch you and the black man talk.
As I watch you sign the paper.
Watch as you go upstairs to talk to my brothers,
And slowly come down the stairs, eyes avoiding mine,
Hands twisting nervously behind your back.
Your mouth opens and say these words,
“Honey, we’re going to get a separation.”
No, this was never supposed to happen.
We were the perfect family,
I look into your eyes,
Hoping for a mischievous glint, a hope that this would be a joke.
All I see, is pain and sadness.
I watch as you pack your belongings,
Watch as you give my brothers a hug.
And hug me, whispering into my hair,
“You’ll always be my little girl.”
Watch you start the car, and drive away,
Drive to the outside world,
A world outside of our perfect family.
“We’ll always be together, we wouldn’t do anything to hurt our darlings.”
They were lies weren’t they?
Lies, worthless words, useless feelings,
Words that were said in vain,
To further hide the lie you kept secret from me.
You betrayed me, you lied.
As I slowly walk to my room,
I spot a vase of flowers, the flowers dried,
The vase void of water.
It was an ugly thing really.
I pick it up to put some water in it,
Except, my hands are shaking.
I find it hard to breathe,
Was it my fault you left?
Were my grades not good enough?
Was I, a bad daughter?
Yes, it can only be that, I was the reason you left.
Without me, everyone would have been happy.
My eyes let loose of the tears I had been trying to hide.
And the vase slips and breaks against the hard tile floor,
Breaking into a thousand beautiful pieces.
I try to pick them up,
But the pieces cut me.
Not that I can feel it anyway.
I welcome the pain, tears blurring my eyes.
My brothers come to sweep the pieces, to take me to my room.
Reassuring that we can always fix the vase.
But I know, know the lie they are hiding.
The truth is, the vase can never be fixed.
And you come in, saying that we’ll still be a happy family.
And I know, the lie that you are telling.
We will never be one.
We are broken,
Broken like the vase.
I broke the vase,
I broke my family.
My family was much more important,
I should’ve been a better person,
Taken better care of the delicate bonds that held us together.
But we are shattered,
Like the pieces of a vase.
You can always glue it together, and say it is fixed.
But you will always know the truth,
It can never be fixed,
It will always stay broken.
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